"Sometimes I think about retiring but not stopping work. Just 're-tiring' - put on some new tires and go on to do something else."
In September 2024, I sent in the required paperwork to retire from teaching. I knew it was the right thing to do but then again it was bittersweet and terrifying. Why? I had my fill of the alarm going off at 5 a.m. I had had my fill of worrying about lesson plans and getting to the classroom by 6;30 a.m. so I was emotionally prepared for the day ahead. I had reached what I thought was the peaceful decision to move forward to whatever lies ahead for me. Retirement brings with it a series of emotional rollercoaster rides that I was not prepared for but well, I was ready.
Here's what I will miss...I will miss singing Broadway showtunes as the kids arrived, ensuring that would not be late for their classes. Trust me, on those performance days, they did not loiter. I will miss getting in front of the classroom and grabbing their attention by doing a split to the floor, encouraging them to "Stretch themselves." I would often start my classes, placing my hands on the head of a student I knew would find it funny and say, "Can you feel the learning going on? I say, can you feel it?" I will miss that. We use the desks as percussion instruments. I would have the kids count to three and then jump into my classroom. That was the signal to get ready to learn something...Anything...I mean even the smallest thing. These things were how I prevented myself from getting tired of the educational politics. Let's not forget those who denied me a teaching career. There were those who for whatever prejudice they showed me in my late 20's (when I was initially certified to teach) as I sought out employment. Be 4'9" tall and lookind as thought I was 12 instead of 28, did not get me hired. I had to mature. I took jobs in sales, and finally at IBM where I developed a discipline that served me well. 20 years later, with the support and faith of my husband, I finished my masters degree with honors and found employment. I earned my right to be in the classroom.
Here's what I will NOT miss...I will not miss the apathy of those kids who see no value in their education, particularly after Covid struck all educational desires down and forced a different value system that teachers were not prepared for in the least. Apathy, lack of work ethic and focus, have made the profession horribly difficult. I do not see that changing for a long time, unless...Parenting changes. I will not miss the painful process of grading student work. Another rollercoaster ride of incredible essay writing matched with the kind of work that perhaps a second grader could write except it is the eighth grade we are talking about and high school looms right around the corner. The educational gap has widened and has made it impossible for our kids to catch up no matter how hard their teacher is working to fix it. Socally promoting our kids is not helping either. The job market does not socially promote anyone if they can not perform the work or take the instruction or demands from their managers. They need to develop listiening skills.
In my teaching world, kids not longer know their parts of speech. They do not know what a complete sentence looks like. Capitalization and punctuation rules are not used either. As an English teacher for twenty years, I won't miss that frustration. But, I powered through and gave them one on one help. I will not miss the struggle with cell phone use. I will not miss writing hall passes, knowing full well that the revolving door to the bathroom, although fully permitted, is just an excuse to leave the classroom and socialize. Teachers must be flexible even though their back is bent, ready to snap.
I will miss those kids who made me laugh with a roar; the kids who would walk into class and say, "Morning King!" I will those kids who inspite of terrible home lives, walked into my classroom and were grateful and happy to be there. I will miss their gratitude and will always be grateful myself for that. I will miss the visits they made after leaving junior high, seeking me out to check on me and say hello. That was always the ultimate compliment for me as a teacher.
I have not made solid plans for my retirement. This last year has been too busy. But I will. In June, I will be free to plan my precious days the way I want to plan them. I plan on making the very most out of my time and that also means rest. Teachers need to rest. They need solitude. They need time to be themselves. When you face over a hundred students, five days a week, you need to heal. I understand that now more than ever. I also understand that retirement does not mean the end but to know that you have a made a difference, that you had a purpose, means you have done your part.
For those still continuing their teaching profession, my hope is that you are able to look at each other and offer ways to help even the other party is not asking. My hope is that while walking down the hallway, you smile and say, "Good morning." Even better, strike up a conversation and make sure that your colleagues are surviving the day. Don't ignore each other because you feel overwhelmed. Embrace each other. Help each other. Support each other and by the way, that's also what the teacher's lounge is for too. Oh and when there's a bunch of colleagues in the lounge and you walk in, say "Hello" there as well. Talk to each other. See, no teacher is an "island" contrary to what we believe. Just because we close our classroom door five periods a day, doesn't mean we are on Gilligan's Island. We need each other. We need to support each other in ways that only we, the teachers understand. I am honored to know what the support has been like. I have been the recipient of much compassion and love and kindness and will never forget those acts. My teaching profession has brought me, over-whelming saddness and frustration But there has also been great joy and laughter. This 20 years has not been in vain. It was not an easy road, but one I was destined to take and one I wanted to take. I have no doubt teaching has changed me forever. I have guts and I have strength that I never thought I would have. "Word."
