"And Just Like That..."

 

     And just like that, the year of 2021 is over.  O-V-E-R.  If I was a "betting woman," I would wager my entire 403B savings on the idea that most of us are grateful to not only see another year, but to put these last couple of years behind us.  On the flip side, many people during the "pandemic life" have experienced unimaginable joy.  Engagements, marriages, babies galore and that leaves me wondering..."What is wrong with me?" 

     I am continually blissful about another sunrise and another sunset.  I am relieved and joyful to have a life that will never, EVER be perfect, but it works nonetheless.  However, I am one of those people who will always want more. For too long, I have entrenched myself in routine.  The past two years have given many a comfort in having a routine.  I have been enjoying the moments of peace and quiet.  I have enjoyed being "still."  Now, NOW, I am beyond done with that.  I want to take up the trumpet!  I want to sing Broadway showtunes at the top of lungs in front of my kids at school each and every day until I drive them to do their classwork!

    I want to live without fear without getting "pandemic sick." I understand that the "inevitable" will eventually happen to me and everyone else for that matter but NOT now, not under these conditions.  I have too much to do. We all have much to do.  I say in 2022, we never stop. Let's never stop planning an let us never stop experiencing the joy of our passions.  What most of us need is passion.  I have noticed on social media that some have more than others and you can hardly blame them for moving forward in spite of the pandemic fears looming each and every day.  Our human behaviors have changed permanently I am afraid. I fear that we will never embrace our need for that human connection that we have been so used to before Covid.  Or perhaps that is my own personal fear. 

     Perhaps in 2022, I will cease to be afraid.  Perhaps in 2022, many of us will be less afraid and embrace each other again.  Maybe, just maybe, I will enjoy the sunrise and the sunset even more than I do now.  Both are equally significant as we age and as we plan for more.  More sunrises, more sunsets, give us strength and give us comfort.  We all need comfort. To think otherwise means none of us have learned a blessed thing during this difficutl time.

     And just like that, I am out of ideas for 2021.  I have, like others, put my best foot forward and now it is time to embrace the unknown year of 2022.  Every year is unknown until we start living it.  Once the champagne glasses are empty and ball has dropped, we need to get back to passion.  How about...we get back...to...passion.

     P.S.  "King, Happy New Year husband!"  You are loved more than what makes you comfortable. 

     

With a Conscience - "The Price of Being...Nice"

 

         It was fairly ingrained into my head growing up, that the most important thing you could give anyone was kindess and empathy.  I remember rescuing a friend on the playground in first grade.  Another girl, a severe bully, threw her down on the playground and began grinding her beautiful hair into the concrete.  I jumped on her back and threw her off my friend.  To this day, I do not know how or why I mustered enough courage to do that but I did and at 60 years of age, I remember it like it was yesterday.

        My sister Jen, has told me that it will never be in my nature to be nasty or confrontational.  My other sister, Jojo tells me, "Find a way to use your voice."   When I am in front my kids at school, I tell them, "Find a way to be kind."  I tell them, "Life is way too short for hateful nonsense.  Remember you are human and so, so are the other kids you go to school with and face each day."  Why is kindness such an issue?  

      There are many days where I simply hate the human race for its insensitivity and its lack of awareness.  Why are so many people on such a short fuse?  Even before this horrid pandemic, which covers our faces and prevents the true, obvious vision of our feelings, we were on a trajectory of anger first, consequences later.  The consequences of hate and anger are too severe and long-lasting these days for us to fully recover from the pandemic.  We need to remember who we are.  We have the capability to love.  We have the capability to heal too.  Of late, my concern is how can we progress from what has been obviously painful? 

      80 years ago, our country was attacked at Pearl Harbor.  We entered World War II as a result and it is amazing that those who are still living and remember being there, are gentle, kind men who simply did what they needed to do.  They did what there were compelled to do.  When there are interviewed, there is no hate expressed.  Perhaps the lesson here, in healing, is in the bravery we must find.  Perhaps rather than fear, which creates hate, we need to find courage.  We need to face our fears and help others.

      I believe fear is the catalyst for most of the unrest we see socially.  The fear comes from not understanding that, "This too shall pass."  The fear escalates from not being heard.  We need to listen more.  We need to care more.  Those that do, find the ultimate reward.  They are no longer afraid.  They embrace.  They are willing to subsitute kindness for fear.  They see the logic in that simple realization.  I pray for more logic.