"Ya Can't Draw Love From A Stone"

 

King and I celebrated our first Valentine's Day in February of 2004.  17 years ago.  There were chocolates, wine, flowers, dinner and lots of emotion. Until 2004, I had not celebrated a single Valentine's Day with anyone other than my family.  Truth.   The comforting thing about your 40's however, is you begin to realize that if you are standing on your own two feet, Valentine's Day will come and it will go and you will survive.  But I I wanted to fall in love.  I wanted that connection.  I just did not understand how to see it, feel it, know it.

When I met my husband, John King, I was not prepared for what I was feeling. What I did know is that I could no longer run away from what I denied myself for most of my life.  I realized that very first night that we met, that I deserved to be loved.  More importantly, I deserved to be loved in the most honest of ways.  In the time we have been together, love has evolved.  Love is far from perfect.  It will never be perfect.  There are times when we will absolutely, never be at our best and then again, we will be.  When that happens, the world becomes a much different place.

Sometimes, we have to accept the absurdity of love.  Love requires patience.  Love requires kindness and yes, one has to listen.  Relationships fall apart when the listening stops.  This is the painful process relationships go through and sadly, not everyone will stay in the game.  

At 59 years old, almost 60 years old, this is what love means now:

• Love means acceptance of imperfection.
• Love means having a sense of humor...always.
• Love means risk...a huge monumental risk.
• Love means mutual politics...and religion.  You have to see eye to eye.
• Love is messy.  Love is dealing with anger and frustration and again, acceptance. 
• Love is an almost visual connection of two souls.  It really is that simple.  
  

If I had to live anything in my life over again, I believe that the one thing I would have done differently would have been to open up sooner to the idea of love.  But, and this is a HUGE BUT...Nothing would replace the bravery and the risk King and I both took getting together and making a committment to each other.  Love equals committment.  Love is risk.  

On Valentine's Day, what I think about is the sacrifice and the longing of those I know who look across and have no one.  But let me tell those who are alone, find joy.  Love comes in its own sweet time, not before that time.  Love will hit you like a ton of bricks and leave you speechless and remember, love...helps you get your speech back.  Your voice will change but it will become stronger if it is right for you.

Spread your love for those you love.  Do not waste another moment pushing it aside because of fear.  The years go by very quickly and if you have the opportunity, love without hesitation.  If the hurt surfaces, move past it and know that you are capable of loving again.

Happy Valentine's Day.!!!