"Shades of Gray"

 

"But today there is no day or night
Today there is no dark or light
Today there is no black or white
Only shades of gray" 

-  The Monkees,  Songwriters -Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil

     A new year is fast approaching and the course of the current events continues to occupy my well-being and my day to day activities. I can not help but wonder about how this will continue to change our behaviors and our politics.  As I was walking today, it suddenly occured to me that the best defense any of us have is to be as honest with ourselves and others as we possibly can be.  The ties that bind us will be defined soon enough when the honesty takes precedence over fear.  We can not live in a world of black and white.  The gray areas are becoming more important than they ever have for our piece of mind.

     The gray areas can be defined as neither being right or wrong.  They simply are.  The gray areas require no judgement.  They can be discussed.  They can surface when we least expect them.  For instance...

• Agreeing with or disagreeing with someone's politics - "Gray area folks."  Although someone can change their political view, they rarely will unless the policies affect them personally .  We either accept someone's politics because we love them, or ignore their politics entirely and love them anyway.
•  Marriage - "Gray area."   I was a bridesmaid at least ten or more times by the time I met King.  Everyone I knew got married.  More than half of those marriages ended in divorce.  The others persevered and found the gray area in which to accept the differences that were blatantly apparent.  Either way, marriage or divorce is never easy on either party.  The gray area is often the key catalyst for survival.  Again, if we think the other party will change, they do not.  We shouldn't want them to either.  Change should be organic.  It happens because the person wants to change on their own. Whether a marriage survives or not, there will always be gray areas.  There will always be an area of gray.
• Regarding our health, I have found through the years that there are many gray areas and only through relentless questioning and second, third or even fourth opinions was a viable action and a reasonable conclusion about a health matter reached.  We also have to be very careful ionsabout what we do NOT feel.  Many health issues can be life-threatening and we won't feel a thing.  It is also true that we can not control everything that happens to us.  The passage of time makes us realize that the inevitable will happen, gray as it may be.  The gray area is different for each one of us and it depends on our shade of gray...the one we cultivate.
• Aging is an entirely gray matter.  Those trips to the hair dresser every eight to ten weeks remind me of the choices I make as I age.  I can only cover or hide so much.  My age is catching up with me and there is a comfort in understanding that I have the privilege of tolerating less, speaking out more and finding the patience to decide who deseves either one.
  

     Reflecting on all of the color that has been brought into my life, I can still appreciate the immensity and the vibrace of the colors I thankfully continue to witness. The stage lights of a theater, Christmas lights, the colors of the sky at sunset, the vibrance of a sun that rises each day are not neutral.  Gray is neutral and sometimes, neutrality is the one thing that can offer peace. What an honor it is to appreciate all the colors of the spectrum and yet, at the same time, find the comfort and the warmth of the gray.