"See you in September..."

“I’ve come to a frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my personal approach that creates the climate. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or dehumanized." - Haim G. Ginott

     The summer's over and a teacher's anxiety begins in real time.  It's not just nervous anticipation about the classroom that is felt.  Turn on the news, and witness all of the changes taking place throughout the country with respect to public education and you will witness genuinely serious concerns.  The cultures of schools are changing with necessary vengeance.  The blinders are off. 

     There's a great deal we could say about our experiences in public education.  As a young person, it was never my intention to become a teacher.  All I wanted do to was to help people, to be of service or work with the public in some capacity.  I wanted to be a pastor,  writer, an actor, a baker, a butcher, a candle stick maker.  I wanted to do everything and anything.  Who needed focus when there was so much ahead in "adult-land?" I could do anything I wanted to do when I turned 18 and I did. The beauty and the stupidity of youth was never wasted on me.

     At 57, in my thirteenth year of teaching, every summer that has gone by there has been the personal ritual of licking my wounds from the school year and regrouping from the exhaustion from all of the middle school interaction. (Five performances a day folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress.").  As years go by, It would appear that the older I get, the less important it is to be "right."  Being kind, seems to have taken precedent and as September looms, it's that emphasis that has me fixated on making sure I am above all, teaching from the heart. 

     For any teacher, September means starting with a fresh outlook, and hopefully fresh ideas as well.  Creativity becomes our greatest motivator.  The slate is clean.  We will be observed and critiqued and observed again and let's not forget about tested.  Our students get tested and we will be tested. In those moments, individuality and personal care goes out the window.  Scores become the indicator.  Did we in fact do our jobs or not?  My physical exhaustion in June, tells me all I need to know about how hard I worked. That unfortunately is not an acceptable measurement of teacher effectiveness. 

     Teaching is a political adventure. In September, we begin not only answering to our students, but their parents, their guardians, our colleagues, our administrators, our school boards and the public at large.  We answer to local, state and federal decision-making.  When a student fails, we all fail. Parents, teachers, administrators, society at large. It will be up to the one who failed to reestablish personal priorities and figure out how to regroup.  This has happened time and time again.  We feel we are the ones who failed when a student fails. I am not speaking for my colleagues, but I know how are hard it is to watch a student sabotage themselves and turn their backs on the help that is readily made available to them, each and every day.  I think most of my colleagues would agree. We show our concern each and every school day. We're not perfect by any means. We lick our wounds.  We move forward because we are committed to do so. 

With September looming,  I hope for nothing more than a year filled with success and joy for all of us.  Let us not forget to laugh.  For our kids, their families, our colleagues, support staff, our administration and everyone else who has a part to play in the well-being and safety of a public school, my respect and my heart knows the value you give without asking for anything in return. This may sound dramatic but we all answered the "calling" to work with the young.  It is a "calling."  September looms...we are again called to perform the multitude of responsibilities to protect and educate those kids in our charge.  So I'll be there in September with my colleagues and when the bell rings, we will all be ready with all of the survival skills we've accumulated and some, some that remain to be learned...

"What Are the "Shoulds" in LIfe?"

"The human brain has 100 billion neurons, each neuron connected to 10 thousand other neurons. Sitting on your shoulders is the most complicated object in the known universe." - Michio_Kaku

     When I was a kid, Mom insisted that that I go to confirmation classes at our church so I would fully understand and appreciate the Presbyterian religion.  She was confident  that I would learn all of the "shoulds" and "should nots" of life.  Altruistic as it may have been, the "shoulds" and "should nots" are not realized in bible school but in our day to day interactions.    

     Over the course of those weeks, I suppose I learned how to behave, how to "be" a better person.  What I did not learn was to how to cope with those who refused to learn those lessons as well.  That, I had to fretfully learn through the decades.  "Should I walk over to that mother screaming and shaking her three year old "to behave?""  "Should I confront the person I know is blantantly lying to me?"  "Should I lie to not hurt a person's feelings?"  Or, "Is truth always the way to freeing oneself from inevitable personal hurt?" When we feel compelled to use our "shoulds," we should be careful that the those on the receiving end appreciate the sacrifices.  To further explore this, I'd like to incorporate a few "should nots" into the mix for a small piece of sanity.  They are the following:

• We should NOT hide our weaknesses but instead wear them like a badge of honor.  This makes us less vulnerable believe it or not.
• We should NOT turn away from those who offer help.  We should NOT turn our backs to those who need OUR help.
• We should NOT be critical if we in fact can't accept criticism in return. 
• We should NOT betray a person's trust. 
• We should NOT forget to be grateful.
• We should NOT ignore or forget those who have and do love us even when our most important relationships are challenged.  We should NOT forget those who have supported our efforts without asking for anything in return.
• We should NOT love money more than ourselves or our loved ones.
• Finally, at the risk of being over-zealous, we should NOT respect others more than we respect ourselves.  Peace of mind, health come first. 

     These may sound like the roots of those old bible study days but literally, within the very fiber of our being, we know what the right thing is.  We know when we are treading on the thin ice of morality.  The trick is, is to face it and stop ourselves before any damage is done.

   

"Through the Looking Glass..."

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you." -  Rumi

     If you need to seek the truth about a personal issue or problem, look in the mirror.  There are moments when I am sitting in front of a mirror, putting on my makeup or fixing my hair and I look and marvel at what my face is showing me.  You can run but you can't hide from what your face, and in particular your eyes are telling you.

     If we are paying close attention, we are shown a great deal.  Through the years, I have to admit that I wasn't paying that close attention.  Now I do.  I see each and every worry line and wrinkle.  The ones I developed leaving home for good and renting my first apartment. On the day I got married, I remember after my hair and makeup were done, I looked in the mirror and hardly recognized myself.  Who was this risk-taker? 

     Your face shows every success, every painful event, every milestone.  The eyes are the truth-sayers.  They never lie.  As I am forced to look in the mirror, I see all the fears, the tears and the adventures that I have had the privilege to have and the ones I long to take before it's too late. It is our face that tells us what we need to do when we are faced with a problem or at a crossroads and know full well that change is eminent.  If we look closely, we see visibly what we need to do. The face in the mirror, has lost and won. Grieved and screamed with laughter.   

     Our eyes show perspective.  When we are not healthy, they show us that too.  Try as we might, we can't ignore what we see in the mirror.  The wounds, inside and out, like the joy are visible.  If we have the courage, and let go of the pain, we see a new light come into the eyes.  

     And it's funny or maybe not, when you run into someone you haven't seen a loved one in quite a while and the first thing that happnes is you get the verbal report..."You look great!" or "You look tired. Are you all right?"  The face, the eyes tell all and I believe that if we paid more attention to a loved one's face, we would know all that we need to know and haven't been told.