2018 - The Year to Decide

"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility."

 - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Quite a year, 2017.  In fact, the last three to four years have been quite over-whelming for many in my circle.  So this Christmas, as 2017 is soon to be part of our past, I wish for nothing more than peace for all of us.  Having said that, for myself, I would like to make one major promise, that I will not only be kinder to others, but to be kinder to myself.  

     It's not an easy pill to swallow when you wake up one morning and realize that that so much time has gone by and most of that time has been sent forgetting to be mindful about what we are doing to ourselves.  Perhaps it's the fact that there are a few more aches and pains, slower digestion, and well, bedtime by nine p.m.  2017 has slowed me down and with good reason.  I simply needed to look at what was happening around me to realize that time is becoming all the more precious.  Now don't misunderstand...I am incredibly fortunate and I know it.  Most of us are lucky and we are gently reminded or NOT so gently reminded of this as each day comes and goes. I can honestly say that I am fortunate for the relationships I have and along with that success, comes the understanding that we are never going to change anyone.  Acceptance becomes part of the success.  So here are my "to-dos." No resolutions.  No absurd goals. 

• Listen more.  Talk less.  I am finding that when I am listened to that I really, REALLY appreciate the person who is listening.  They are interested.  They care.
• Have an occasional cookie.  I am determined to stay on the course but I absolutely love eating healthier.  Who knew???  BUT, an occasional cookie maintains my sanity. 
• Show even more patience.  The husband will say that through the years, I have been very impatient.  I have an "immediate gratification" impulse, especially for shoes.  Ok, ok...I can be incredibly patient these days, but shoes, well that's another story.  No one is perfect. To have patience means we are showing love and gratitude.  This doesn't mean we become easy prey. Lord knows, I understand that well but patience like listening, is an art.  You become better with practice.
• Step out of the comfort zone.  Jeez, this one is hard.  What I have found is that we change one single thing, one single behavior, that we tend to have more success and become more courageous.  I am going to embark on getting out of m comfort zone on a few matters and I fully anticipate the difficulty it will bring to do so.  Knowing that we must do this in order to re-energize, is important for a healthy mind.   When we feel too comfortable, there will be plenty of indicators that tell us to shake things up.  We can't ignore them.  We shouldn't ignore them.  
• Maintain my relationships and let love move life forward.  It really is true that to live a life without regret, means never giving up on love. Say "I love you" often and daily.  To my husband, my family, my  eclectic number of friends, "I love you."  Even when time passes and we have not seen each other as much as we'd like, "I love you."  We all have learned so much from each other. Mistakes have been made but we looked beyond them. I am grateful. When we are challenged, love more not less and see what happens.
• Enjoy the quiet as much as the noise. My life has been noisy indeed and that's partly my doing!! Thank goodness!!! Teaching is very.VERY noisy but there is a tremendous comfort in creating quiet, solitude for balance. Sometimes saying nothing, and finding a quiet place to think, takes care of many issues that we thought we could not solve.
• Learn to say "No."  I used to hate that word.  Now, I appreciate it.  We all have boundaries.  We need to draw the line for others so they understand and respect our decisions.  This is very difficult for women in particular.  We want everyone to be comforted and happy. That's dangerous.  This is when we lose sight of ourselves. 
• Find one thing, each day, that satisfied you.  As you lay on your pillow, before you fall asleep, look at all of the activity in your precious day and find some joy.  We can't ignore the difficulties that happen but we can live in that immediate moment and smile.  The past is in the past.  Let it go. Let the memories good and bad, teach you, not haunt you.

Well, this was enough to chew on I think.  May 2018, with no guarantees, bring you the radical acceptance to change if you need to and embrace the process.  Find joy in the love you have for others and enjoy the love others have for you.  No year is perfect.  No life is perfect.  Embrace yours.  Make decisions based on facts first, emotions second.  Let love be the catalyst and the answer.

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!