The hand we're dealt...

"Sometimes when people are under stress, they hate to think, and it's the time when they most need to think. "  - William J. Clinton

      It's been quite the challenge these last five years.  Today, I have been reflecting on so many people in my life and how they have handled the cards they have been dealt and let's face it...the cards in their hand have definitively put their lives in a terrible place with the solutions very difficult to find.  I watched so many people that I love and deeply care for go through tragedies that would make the most of us give up the fight of living  and I wonder how they have managed to put one foot ahead of the other and come out the darkest of times, although changed, but stronger and but tired, very, very, tired.

     I have never handled the stresses of my private life well but lately what I have come to terms with is that I can get up and I can face my day and find some strength in giving my energy and my time to others.  What I am trying to understand however, is how we come through the hardest of times and manage to laugh, to seek out our friends and our family.  Why don't we all just hide? The answer I have come to realize is stubbornness.  Some of us are simply more stubborn than others and we simply don't give in to what we have faced.  It also my observation that when we have good stubborn people around us, that this also gives us some salvation. 

     Some people have a strong faith which they practice faithfully.  That seems to be one way. Some people's answer is volunteer or create a movement to bring awareness to whatever tragedy has come their way. Others suffer and grieve for an extended time and then venture out and begin their lives again.  There are those who pick up and relocate.  They change everything and leave their roots behind which considering there is tremendous world out there doesn't seem to be the worst idea as long as they are running to something rather than running away.  Having a passion has also proven to be a vary important necessity when faced with human tragedy or challenge.  Social media can be an asset for encouragement or providing reminders that "This too shall pass," But this is superficial.  We need people, good people around us.  People who understand us and will love us regardless of the fact that we indeed have fallen apart and need to put our personal puzzle back together. 

     The hurdles and tragedies all human beings face seem to come when we're not looking.  I have been in that place where I was waiting for "the next shoe to drop," only to realize that no matter how much anxiety I was experiencing, the shoe was going to drop any way.  Life has a certain level of grief.  The question we need to ask ourselves is, will we let those incidents make us turn our backs on all of what life has already given us?  The answer seems to vary depending on the person but more inherently is that we always have "choice." We make a choice as to how we're going to continue looking at the world. We find out who is with us for the long haul and who is not.  We need to love those who walk away because we can be very sure they are facing their own challenges.

     Giving of our time, our energy and our love seems to be the only way out of the darkest of times. If we can put one foot in front of the other...if we can be smart enough to put our trust in the right people, then we win. It's true that we all learn the hard way.  There is no easy way really.  But I am very sure these days, that overcoming adversity means familiarity with those who have been continually successful by simply being who they are and not hiding a thing.