"All's well that ends well...or does it?"

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”
― William Shakespeare, All's Well That Ends Well

          So many people have crossed my life's path. I often forget their names or how I met them.  I forget what we did together.  Then, then I see someone from my past and remember every single moment. Usually, these moments come flooding back, either filled with joy and happiness and uncontrollable laughter or total and utter shock and disgust.  Stupidity about sums up some of these memories.  Now I realize that it's not the memories, or the pain or the regret that matters.  I'm in the "now."  

     Living in the now is something that I am still embracing.  After these last few weeks, being glued to the politics and the television, I can think of only one quote by Thomas Paine. "Reputation is what men and women think of us; character is what God and angels know of us."  I can say with certainty that the politics we are witnessing is all about character.  

     It's not the presidential election that has bothered me but the acceptance and the blatant disrespect of what makes us different.  It's acceptable now to bully, attack and make fun of people with disabilities, or who are weaker in their physicality.  It's not ok.  It will never be ok and any rationality about such behavior sickens me.  This is why, when Americans protested this week, it was their call to these inhumanities that makes the protesting so important.  Living in the "now" has awakened those who have until now been conveniently asleep or their lives have become so busy and complicated that up until now they were just too tired to do anything about what they were seeing on television or the internet. Peacefully protesting is our right.  It would not have happened to the magnitude it did, if we were content with the messages that we have been receiving over the past year. We should never be content if there is a potential that people will get hurt emotionally, financially, and even, spiritually.  

     I can tell that after numerous discussions with my 91 year old mother, that the women she gave birth to, are very different from her because that's what she was hoping for the day each of my sisters and I were born. She would tell me, "Educate the woman, and you educate the whole family." Intelligent thought, is educated thought.  The conventional life that women were brain-washed to believe would give them the ultimate happiness was not at all parallel to what was really equal and appropriate.  Today, NOW, her daughters have bachelor's degrees, master's degrees and have worked very hard at their careers and we have indeed, every right to voice our concerns when their rights are being infringed upon because some are afraid to catch up with what's already happened. Everyone has a voice and although we may not always agree, equality is an issue that should not be trivialized.  

     So what exactly makes us equal?  Why are some people considered and allowed to be more equal than others?  The answer lies within ourselves.  What we are told as children has a profound effect. .  What we are taught as children and what we are allowed to experience as children has a profound effect. There are boundaries that have to be set. There are rules that have to be followed.  We are not entitled to anything but we are free to make our own decisions.  No one can dictate our thoughts.  No one can or should dictate who we love, or how we love.  No one should dictate personal choice either. To be clear, this coming from an adult who has now voted in presidential and congressional elections since 1979. Politics needs to promote compassion, intelligent discussion and yes education.  Intelligent debate is healthy debate.  Ignorance, anger and irrationality is simply hurtful and dangerous.  We've witnessed it all recently.  

     We should never accept in others what we would not accept in ourselves. What we would not tolerate, we should not tolerate in others.  This is particularly true during our elections.  History has showed us what can happen if we turn our backs. NOW,means taking a good hard look in the mirror and realizing that the decisions we make are connected to something more than ourselves.  We are connected to each other.

"The Hike" - "Into the woods you go again, you have to every now and then..."

“My body was smarter than I was. I was with someone who would never hurt me, and so I finally relaxed.” 
― Aspen Matis, Girl in the Woods: A Memoir

     It's not a secret to anyone that I love shoes.  I am a "shoe-a-holic" and I am not ashamed. So when King gave me a pair of three season hiking boots for Christmas it was hard for me not to get excited.  Shoes are always a good idea.  Now, using the hiking boots for actual "hiking" would be some thing else again.  King is a modern day "Grizzly Adams" and being outside, hiking, is probably his most favorite thing to do.  I wanted to share that with him.  I had hiked before but not to the extent my husband has. Never up mountaintops...until I met "Grizzly Adams."  So yesterday, January 1st, 2017, King asked me if I wanted to give the new boots a test drive.  I agreed.  A winter hike would be a first for me in a very long time.

     

     We layered up and on went my new boots. As I was lacing them up around my ankle, a surge of fear came over me. I didn't want to fail and did I didn't want to fail my husband. It was the identical feeling I had the day we got married. I wanted to take the boots off and crawl back under the blankets of my warm bed and say "It's just too hard. No." 

     King grabbed our hiking poles and packed a day pack with a thermos of tea.  We were on our way.  It was in the 40's, the sun was shining and the winds were mild as we approached our path.  The first quarter mile was a complete sheet of ice.  "Use your poles," King instructed.  I was petrified.  Ice is never anyone's friend.  "You never know what you're gong to come across in the woods, so you can't panic," explained "Grizzly" as I used my poles and step by step up the icy path. I didn't know whether to kiss him or slap him.  I could feel every muscle and every tendon in my arms and legs trying to work together.  I didn't want my body to fail me.  I didn't want to fail period.

   Luckily the path warmed up, a break in the ice,  and King waited for his partner.  "Need to rest?" he asked. My husband suddenly looked different to me at that very moment. I felt safe.  How could I let him down?  Clearly, I was in the process of mentally detoxing.  I was beginning to remember how good it felt to be outside.  The sun was warmer now.  It shined down on King and I as we kept walking up the mountainside.  As we climbed higher, I needed my poles to keep me steady and to hoist me higher.   "Do you want to stop?" Grizzly asked.  "No," I managed to speak the one syllable word.  We kept going, the weather cooperated.  I could see other mountaintops and other forests.  Finally, I had to ask "How much further, dear?"  He wouldn't answer.  "We are almost there," he smartly answered.  In a matter of five or ten minutes, he looked back over his shoulder and said, "This is the top. 

You made it dear!"  I couldn't believe it. The ground had leveled out and there in front of us was fallen tree log.  We sat and King took out the tea he had made and poured us each a cup. The sun warmed us.  The tea was perfect.  Life was perfect.

     We kissed.  King packed up and we trekked home.  I used my poles like an expert on the way down and King watched carefully with a loving grin. I stopped looking at the path and looked at the world around me, the woods, the quiet beautiful woods.  The ice was but a small inconvenience now.  Getting down the mountain was much easier than going up.  Marriage is the same way.  There is a path but there are no guarantees as to what appears on the path.  Sometimes you maneuver around the icy parts, sometimes you fall right on your posterior.  But there are tools you use to get back up as long as you overcome your fear.  I realized when we got home, as I soaked in a hot tub, that I had been afraid of so many things over my lifetime and had survived.  I realized by watching my husband, my "Grizzly Adams," that he knew how to get back up too.  He is confident in the woods.  He is a survivor outside, in the woods and in life and now, at least in this moment so was I.  This is a new year, with no guarantees, no silver bullet but if you have the right tools, the right partner by your side, none of the past matters.  One single step can change everything.