Albert Einstein
I am not a narcissist. It wasn't until recently that I realized how important it is to love myself first before I could love anyone else with complete abandon. My body has been telling me in both little and not so little ways what it needs from me. I realized this Valentine's Day, that it was time to love...well...love thyself.
To quit smoking, to go to the doctor's on a regular basis, to eat properly, take supplements and herbs...Yep...that would be me...loving my little self. Sometimes, you're just given a choice. Sometimes we are blindsided and then we have to decide what's important for us...no one else can provide the answers we're looking for to heal. We must heal ourselves.
We need to profess our love not only for our spouses, partners, families but for ourselves. As each year goes by, thankfully, I understand more and more that if I don't put myself first, everything else suffers. My relationships suffer. My world suffers.
I fell in love so many times in my life and it was so easy. It's a lot like eating pizza. Even bad pizza is good pizza but we need to make a note of the bad pizza joints and make sure we never visit them again. Love is like pizza. You can't say you've every had a bad slice, until you've eaten so much, you fell like you're going to explode.
There were those who broke my heart. There were those who respected me enough to know I was a loving, caring person...too loving and too giving for them at that particular time. Love, as it would seem, is all about timing. It's about courage too. How brave are we going to be when we know we are in love? Are we really prepared for the better and the worse? The bravest thing I've ever done was get married.
The 50's have shown me that I am not invincible, I also have come to realize that I am NOT invisible either. The older we get, the more we see and the more we want to share everything with those we love.We see ourselves with more honesty, with more truth. We have to care about ourselves. We have to do what makes us feel fulfilled and happy. We have to be passionate and live feeling passionate about something outside ourselves and yes, sometimes outside those we love. The situations we face, the good and the bad and the ugly cannot escape us. They are what they are and they are ours, no one else's. This is the beauty and the challenge of being human.
We gravitate towards what might feel easier. We don't want to hurt anyone with our decisions. But this is not the true definition of love. Love means living truthfully and honestly. Love is feeling fearless and knowing that you have the support to go after what makes you feel "whole." Love means change; not because you are forced to but because you want to...because it's in your best interest.
Over time, I've realized it's not anyone else's job to make me feel complete or happy. However, I do value being around people who are happy. I've also realized the luxury of quiet, reflective moments...the more the better. I don't have to be everything to everyone. I just have be conscious of what's good for me. Am I healthy? Am I content? If not, what has to happen to change that?
Love is not guaranteed. We must work on it, just as we must work on ourselves. We must nurture ourselves and be patient for the growth. It needs respect, kindness and truth and sometimes manure or fertilizer. More importantly, we have to feed ourselves the good things. We must do the hard work and realize, that we don't live in a bubble and the more we pay attention to our own self-love, that others will come along for the ride. If they don't, then we move forward.
I love the word "love." But now, the words "love" and "me" carry much more weight.
