"Curve balls-Thank you body"

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."  -  Harvey Fierstein

No one likes hearing the truth.  No one likes sitting face to face with a physician who tells you that you "may" have something that is "potentially" life threatening.  You decide right then and there whether you're going to act like a victim or own up to every single ridiculously stupid thing you've ever done, wondering if those things are the reasons you're hearing the word "tumor or cancer."  But in medicine, you never take one physician's word for it. The better physicians will tell you that.  And so the journey so many have taken begins for me...

At 52, I guess I was due to have something happen that will pose a health challenge.  I've watched many, older than myself, younger than myself, face horrific health challenges and I feel very fortunate that my body waited this long. I never truly liked or appreciated my body.  Women are often like that..but I like my body now.  Why?  Because it had the sense to give me a "heads up" that you need to take care of yourself...now.  I love you body.  I love you now more than ever because you have given such wonderful opportunities. Shame on me for not seeing them sooner.  I see them now.  My body loves my husband, my family and my good, good friends.

Thank you body. I am so sorry I never appreciated your beauty until now.  You gave me poor vision and a definitive lack of growth hormone. Thank genetics as well. You gave me an abundance of insecurities growing up.  Even with those issues, I saw and still see the world so much more clearly than some and didn't understand how to use that gift until now.  No one needs height or perfect vision to understand love, compassion, anger and sometimes even hate. " Human is as human does."  I've accepted that.  Body, because of you, I've made people laugh.  I was given a voice and I use it. My body allows me to think, to write and to teach. It dances too...a LOT.  Because of you, I developed a love of any type of pizza there is, any time, any where.  My body loves food.  My body loves good chardonnay.

Body,  I know you hope the best for me.  I know you forgive me for whatever stupid things I've done to put you in jeopardy.  I'm not the only one though, am I?  Of course I'm not but it's all luck of the draw...a matter of time.  Age has taught me that.  Age makes us wiser. Those who care about you body, can't make decisions for you.  They can't control you. But body, you and I both know the truth.  We either work together or accept the consequences.  As my journey begins body...Keep me rational, keep my sense of humor, keep me as I am and let me grow a new spirit.  Keep going...let's just keep going.