"With a Conscience" - " Despicable Me"

                                Despicable Me

"Experience does not err. Only your judgments err by expecting from her what is not in her power." - Leonardo da Vinci

I made a huge mistake today.  I rushed to judgement.  I assumed that a particular individual in my life, one who I am incredibly close to and love dearly, thought I was incapable of carrying out a specific task and I went nuts.  Ballistic.  As I was working out my anger and frustration on the treadmill, I started to see the clearer picture.  Why am I so anxious and eager to rush to judgement? 

Here's what I know.  Everyone, even those we love, have their own agenda.  They have very personal reasons for behaving the way they do and for doing things their way. For each individual, it makes sense to them, and them alone.  Their goals or ideas are not ours. Their motivations are not our motivations.  How I wish that human beings could have an automatic judgment meter that would prevent them from assuming or rushing to a belief that simply isn't accurate. Why then do we immediately believe that whatever the other person does or wants to do is a personal affront to the rest of us? 

We've all been there.  We've all had an occasion with a loved one where our agenda did not coincide with ours.  And I would bet that our rush to judgment caused a problem or two.  The challenge then is how can we remedy this?  How can we use our intuition and our common sense to create more substantial relationships with those we love? I don't have the answer but I do have the concern.  Perhaps that's a start.

Every time we make an assumption or feel as though someone we care about is misleading us or potentially making the wrong judgment, let's try talking about it.  Let's put fear of criticism and fear of confrontation aside and simply ask that person why they think what they think or want to do what they want to do? Why not work to understand rather than rush to judgment?  Sometimes taking some much deserved or needed space gives us this ability.  Sometimes remembering that is always about love that keeps our relationships secure and safe.  Safety being the most important part of the issue. For us to become completely fulfilled in all of our relationships, we have to feel safe in order to keep those relationships growing.  Sometimes we are successful.  Sometimes we're not but at least we've learned something in the process.  We've probably learned not to rush to judgement with that person again.  Hopefully...

The human condition and history reminds us time and time again that no one is perfect. We can not improve our relationships, grow in love, or develop inwardly if we are afraid of making mistakes.  We make judgments naturally.  It's part of our perceptive process.  However, I believe more and more that being judgmental can make us unhappy, frustrated and ruin some of our closest relationships.  We can agree to disagree with those we love.  We can be honest and express our truth.  We are not the Supreme Court.  We are not "Judge Judy."  We are capable of extending our understanding and our compassion.  That, that we can do very easily.