"With a Conscience" - " Friendship"

                                           Friendship

 "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am sure that most of us have various definitions of the word "friendship."  Most of us are well aware of the value of those relationships we define as "friends." It's interesting that in this day and age of social networking, people are reconnecting with acquaintances or people that had some kind of relevance in their past. (Curiosity plays an important part in this...) Yet, they won't pick up the phone to get in contact with a true, viable, "in your face" friend. We get busy or side-tracked with personal obligations. We can go months without seeing some of our very nearest and dearest friends but when we do, it's as though no time has passed.  Why do we wait so long?

I realized last week, after entertaining two of the best friends I will ever have, that we could have literally never spoken to each other again had it not been for the pure joy of what we shared.  We've known each other for over 30 years now. Over time we learned to protect each other. We've seen each other through heart aches, marriages, child birth and the onset of menopause. Some of the world we were building was beautiful and at times, painful. There was a time when what we had could have disappeared because of a severe lack of communication.  Friendships, true friendships evolve, mostly because of the ability to say "I'm sorry."  I wonder how many broken relationship, could have survived had either party just said those two simple words.  

Everyone deserves to be "stupid" more than once in their lifetime.  It's character building and part of being human.  Friendships teach you how to forgive.  I used to pride myself on my passivity because I believed agreeing with everyone meant I was being a "good person," a "true friend."  Age has taught me otherwise.  Being a good friend means that sometimes the truth will hurt.  It can hurt more that we care to admit. My true friends tolerated my behavior because they knew I would eventually smarten up and I am completely, totally in their debt for that. They were always honest.

I have over 300 friends on my Facebook account.  They are part of the extensive experiences I've had in my life and even though some of them are newer acquaintances, I consider them part of the fabric of everything I hold dear.  Because of Facebook, I've also been able to meet up with the friends of my childhood and I'm beginning to realize that the bonds of childhood friendships are just as valuable today as they were in my youth.  Still, it's the phone call, occasional lunch or dinner that I absolutely love more than anything other contact.

As my two friends left last week, I was reminded of all those years, experiences, life-changing events that have shaped me.  We need the bonds that friendships give us.  Mark Twain has been quoted as saying, "Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it."  The best friends we have, help us do that. 

Best friends tell you when that dress you're trying on "works" or doesn't.  Best friends either love your new hair style or hate it. We color our hair. We love wine.  Best friends either like your new boyfriend, or not...And if you marry, they pray that you have a long and happy life.  My good friends, like myself, have changed through the decades but it's our closeness that keeps us young.

To call someone a "friend" is an honor and a blessing and I hope that those who are reading this column know that they are cherished.  Now, about those phone calls...