"With a Conscience" -" In Defense of Me"

                                        In Defense of Me

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes."

                                                       - Claire Booth Luce

Why do women behave badly in the workplace?  Does this surprise anyone else other than myself?

I've had many jobs. I've been employed by large corporations, in positions where I heaved a huge sigh of relief knowing that I had made it through my day without being chastised or screamed at by the very people who depended on me to be perfect even when they were indeed were not. I've had jobs in marketing and sales where, I literally watched my briefcase be kicked across my the sea of cubic offices because, one of my colleagues had a bad sales day. I've witnessed it in the position I hold as an educator.  These people bosses, and colleagues, doing the same kind of work as myself, making the same salary.  Why do women behave badly?  Why do they feel compelled to gossip, to complain, and behave with such disrespect for their own kind. 

Women in the work place today are behaving badly and they are not doing themselves any favors by doing so.  I've seen them swear, rant, and yell at each other without any regard for anyone who might be near them. Theoretically, we have learned this behavior by watching our male counterparts and by being victims ourselves. I believe that the more women try to behave like men in the work place or have been victimized, the more they will attempt to show how aggressive  and strong they are. They are destroying their spirit and the spirit of those women around them. This hurts our progress. Most of us are in positions that go against the very heart and soul of who we are naturally.

Resentment builds having to leave a child in daycare while the new mother gets up at the crack of dawn to drop their three month old off at a day care center and then commutes an hour to work each day.  Resentment and anger builds when they call in sick to their employer for a day or two, to take care of their newborn is sick and their female co-workers without children, have to do the work of two, sometimes three people while they're home taking care of a crying, ill child.  Resentment builds when, this same woman comes home to a chaotic house she manages, as well as a husband or partner who also works and possibly has resentments because the over-time hasn't been available and layoffs are looming.

I see anger buidling everywhere.  In the past 10 to 20 years of my working life, I've been watching this trend  towards aggression grow, and it saddens me.  As I have done my own soul-searching, I've asked the same question..."Who are we becoming?" "What do women really want?"  Clearly, "wanting it all" isn't making us happy but in fact making us angry, unhappy and causing huge problems for the work place and women in general.  No matter what adjustments are being made to accommodate women with families in the work place, we have a long way to go in recognizing that no one is considering the job of parenting as being the ultimate priority.

Women are the life force for mankind.  We are the stabiizers.  We provide the nurturing strength that the world so desparately needs and also abuses, still.  Why would we want to change that which is already part of our being?  If women want to become better at managing themselves, their families, even their men, they need to remember  that need not show aggression to succeed but use common sense.  Education is also key.  My mother always said as I complained about how difficult college could be, "Educate the woman, and you educate the entire family." 

Women will be happier when they realize that it's acceptable to care for their families. Women will be happier when there are visible, continual rewards for putting importance on the home and on children.  It's the year 2010 and we have the creativity and technology to alleviate this. But we are still fighting, fighting on so many levels.  The answer lies in being honest with ourselves in what is working or not working for us as individuals. We need to plan better. We need support. The answer lies in the appreciation and respect of mothers, fathers and children.

"With a Conscience" - "Fear, "the other white meat" "

                                                      "Fear, "the other white meat" "

I've lacked the courage and the discipline to continue this blog and now I understand why. Fear. It's difficult to follow your passion. My passion as always been in conflict with the passions of other people. Family, friends, colleagues have always been very supportive and at the same time, the more communication I've had with them, the less I've followed my own passions. It's not their fault but it is mine. Writing has always been my passion and I have found too many excuses not to pursue it or develop the passion further. Fear has a ridiculous way or preventing the human race from paying attention to the inner voice that says, "You need to be doing this. If you don't, you are are going to falter, and end up taking too many detours." Life, as I am finding, is brief.

I've been writing since I was old enough to hold a crayon. The crayons migrated to pencils, then to pens. In 1980, my parents gave me a Smith-Corona typewriter for college. I was on my way to journalism school in Flagstaff, Arizona and thought this was the most wonderful gift. My parents were handing my opportunity to me and telling me to grasp it and never let it go. That typewriter went everywhere with me, throughout my entire college career. As technology advanced, again it was my father who bought me my first computer and he asked me to "put it too good use and write." When he passed in 1998, I promised myself I would. I am almost embarrassed to admit that years later (2005, to be exact) when laptops were perfected, my mother funded my first laptop for exactly the same reasons my father bought me my first typewriter and then desktop years ago. They would support the passion they knew lie inside of me even when I was too unfocused to recognize it myself. In 2008, the year I received my masters, my brother-in-law gave me a very expensive pen and paper as a gift and he wondered whether or not I'd appreciate it. I thought it was the most fabulous, if not profound gift that I've received. I carry that pen with me and use it whenever possible.

Writing has to be a passion. To write so people will read, means that a commitment has to be made to whatever subject matter the writer dares to address. Writing means being courageous. Writing means discipline. Writing means a desire for change. Most people write because they want to change the reader's perspective or provoke them to feel. Writers also educate. Writers entertain too.

So where am I to fit within the endless sea of words from passionate people? That remains to be seen but I suppose I'll start with a "thank you" for the crayons, the pencils, the typewriter, the pen and now, the laptop.